I can hardly believe that a year has gone by since my interview with faculty, but it has. Today was the selected hopeful MFA acting and directing candidates day to interview with faculty and student panel. The department takes them to lunch, conducts interviews, takes them to dinner, then takes them to a departmental performance. I remember this day last year when I was one of them and it was a full day that was very exciting to me. So today I was invited to the lunch and was on the student panel with Anne, Amy, and Brian. It was great to be able to share info about the program and get info about each of them. I find it extremely beneficial for the candidates to know who they might be working with and for the actors already in the program to know who they might be working with. At this stage in their process – they are very very close to being accepted if they find they really want to be in the program and the faculty/student panel feel they will fit into the program – but it is not a final decision yet. I found the candidates to be a diverse bunch – similar to my year’s bunch…although there was only two women in the group and one of them is looking at a directing MFA as well – so it looks male-heavy as far as acting goes…and my class is already male-heavy. Once Anne and Amy graduate – Avila is the lone female unless one or more are taken into the acting program for next year. Looking back at last year, I was the only actor in the group that made it into the program (or accepted the offer if made anyway – I think one other candidate was offered admission but she went for another school closer to where she lived on the east coast??? I could be wrong about this). John Zibell was at the same lunch and dinner/performance last year and we had talked quite a bit – so when we were both at the lunch today it was like sharing old times.

REHEARSAL – THE SEAGULL
I went into rehearsal with an all new vigor and determination to be passionate, but I left with an all new low – wondering what I was doing. Each scene had it’s highs and lows. I think I found some new things, but I also caught myself being far too casual (lots of “ummms” and “yeahs”). I almost missed the entrance where we are all leaving for the train station, but I have left my walking stick…I was too busy making offstage “noises” with other cast members that Bella had to say – aren’t you suppose to be on stage…lol. Surprisingly, it was a moment that Mark liked, perhaps because I didn’t have time to judge myself. Anyway – I thought that the first half of the show went really well and that the scene with Nina was much more full of passion – I almost knew that because I liked it so much that there was going to be something about it that Katya or Mark did not like…since we aren’t getting notes until Monday night – the only general feedback I got was “it still is lacking the electricity”. Electricity? I was full of passion and desire. What kind of note is “electricity”? Katya gets on us about directing our actors with terms that are not playable…and I think she just threw one at me…I’ll try to figure it out though. Actually, I am going to have a little chat with Bella (as my head of acting department) and hopefully get some grounding. I think I need to stop trying to figure out what Katya and Mark want, since it is vague and contradictory at times…or it is at least a game in which they are always changing the rules. I am not saying that their approach is a bad one at all…I actually think I am learning a lot from it. I just need to go into all future rehearsals leading up to tech week, with my own solid acting skills leading me through making meaningful connections and being as truthful to my situations as possible. Keeping in mind what Katya and Mark have said and shooting for what they want, but not having it completely overshadow my core instincts. I drove home thinking about this non-stop…I need some rest!